Searching for a Signal in the Darkness.
Sometimes EVE feels like a vast, cold
universe with lots of opportunities, sometimes it closes in on me. I
am in a tin can rattling around with the other beans, no way out. The
light shining in, comes from the dark outside. EVE is a harsh
mistress.
So this time I want to talk a little
bit about why we play EVE. If you want you can also tell me why you
play EVE or why you don’t play it. This is really about both
things.
I always go through phases in my
playtime. I can be very active playing hours and hours and days on
end, and then stop altogether for weeks. Its troublesome for some
play-styles (it is why I never would make a good industrialist or
Trader) and I just about manage in wormhole space, mainly with the
great support I get in my corp TRECI. While w-space needs patience
and planning it also enables my sporadic random play. I can do stuff
for an hour, or longer times.
It is never something like a big event
that makes me stop, more a tiring feeling really. EVE's many options
sometimes seem too much, or the fact that some things seem so
unattainable.
Its my love and hate relationship with
the skill queue. You always train and train, it takes so long and
sometimes I never get there. I have recently trained Logistics V,
other people then seem happy when they get to something like that, I
only feel empty. Its there, I can fly a Guardian now, one of those
ships I always wanted, it looks cool and I enjoy the support role it
fills.
But the goal is gone, I don’t need to
get there anymore, it is achieved, so something has gone missing.
Maybe I need more goals, I don’t know.
What are the things I enjoy most, these
might give me goals? What do I do? Hunting, flying with my cloaked
ship into the unknown, exploring the new connections and star systems
I encounter. Finding new weird things in there, meet other
capsuleers. And blow them up. The hunt is what keeps me going many
times, away past being tired and sometimes longer. It drives me like
no other thing. I wonder why. It is hard and often useless, so often
nothing happens.
Before i joined TRECI I had my cool-down
day out of corp. So I went and visited Aldrat, the E-Unis home
system, flew around and said hello. I fitted an cheap Incursus in an
effort to blow up old frigates and went into lowsec faction warfare
systems. Hopping that there surely must be people who would fight.
Alas it was a sobering experience, no one wanted to fight and the
few people I saw, were farming the systems and running, as soon as I
entered system. I eventually managed to get blown up after I went
back and forth a bit with one guy. But it was short and unsatisfying.
I don't mind loosing a ship, but hunting empty space for several hours
was not fun.
I also must confess I am too risk
averse. I hesitate and miss things because of that. One day last week
I found some target in the chain. I went for it and we got a fight, I
lost my first ship hero- tackling and went back got another one, got
caught, more sharks had come out of the dark and I lost ship and pod.
All in all 330millions worth. But I couldn't have been happier. I
fought learned, hunted and enjoyed the whole journey.
Obstacles to overcome are better then
spinning in safety round and round and round some more. The lost pod
also makes me happy as weird as it might sound. I don't have to dread
loosing it anymore, I had packed to many implants in there. It was
part of the problem and its gone now.
Sometimes there is truth in the
sarcastic sentence we jokingly tease each other with sometimes.
“Didn't want that ship anyway.” For me it shines true.
We humans are animals that dread loss
and pile up stuff to avoid it. EVE hits a nerve there. I always
thought EVE is more about loss then achievement. In a weird way, you
never get anywhere and you like it for that. Stages of madness...
Some people quit eventually, like the
great Azual Skoll:
He got eaten by EVE, the time to stay
where he wanted to be, took him down, it is a wise decision to leave
if you don’t enjoy it anymore. I hope he does it like I do, leave a
bit, get the hunger and come back a bit. Sometimes you need to take
the bitter EVE pill in small doses.
But lets not be so dramatic and
depressing. When I drag myself to EVE I always get something out of
it, the stories continue and the Journey goes on.
Next week will have the post I plan on
ISK making in wormholes. There are fascinating ways to do stuff. I
bitter-noob to much in this one I fear. Thanks for reading and feel
free to write me what you do in times like these.
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